Random night..

Everybody hates Chris Theblog.

Honey on bean burrito , ranch and cheese hash browns..

Kinda want.

Road rash.

Memorial Day..

I hope everyone enjoyed their time off.

Hopefully you set some time aside to remember and to be thankful for the all the soldiers that are no longer with us.

We wouldn't have a day off if it wasn't for the sacrifice they gave for our country.

Im grateful and proud to say my Grandpa served proudly in World War II.

Thanks Grandpa , and I miss you.

Thanks to goes out to Joel Dual and Henry Bird.

They went to soon, but went serving the country the loved.

Big thanks guys.

Last time.. Dirty Sanchez edition..

Last thing you ate:

Lotaburger.....Topped with green chile and a little bit of your mom.

Last time you had a burrito:

Thanksgiving of 95, when Will Smith saved us From aliens.

Last time the walls were moving:

Fungus everywhere!!!

Last time you thought you were gonna die:

On my motorcycle today.

Last book you read:

Indoor garden guide

Last position you liked:

Im not sure if there is a name....

Last song you heard :

Ramble on, led zeppelin.

Last time you punched some one:

That stupid BRO marine rat bastard about a month ago.

Last time you smoked green chile:

Right meow.

Last words:

Cheap bikes, cheap drugs, and cheap women god damn it kill me now!!!!

Dunny is funny..

Q: by me A: by Dunny

1.Red or green ? GREEN

2.NM or CO? NEW MEXICO

3. Mario or Warrio? UHHH, THEY ARE EQUALY LAME.

4. Front to back or side to side? SIDE TO SIDE.

5. Blondes or reds? FIRE CROTCH.

6. Bike or boards ? BIKES

7. Austin Powers or Dr Evil? MINI ME

8. Satan or Jesus? JOSE

9. Hitler or 420? HITLER

10. Chris or the Blog? YOUR MY FRIEND :)

Dear..

Dear likes to go fast guy:

Your a douche..

And more than likely a bro.

Like these ladies, except in a car.

Like this guy.

Go fast guy is a hybrid creature consisting of part macho guy , part gear head and either dressed like a MMA guy or a poser skater.

Car never completely fixed, always with multi colored panels or primered.

OH , and always dented like fuck!

Im sure mom and dad are proud to have that piece of shit in the front yard.

Dood, your 22. Get a full time job a get a real car so that the car seat fits in the back.

Dear California:

I like that your boycotting AZ, It's cute.

I'll enjoy the fact that you receive a good amount of you power from the Hover dam.

Thats in Arizona ya know.

Boycott the the dam too.

28% of SO CAL will be without power.

If that happens , all the phonies will melt .. and.. thats all I got.

Now make me a burrito.

Dear Osama Bin Laden :

Im pretty sure your going to die.

Your kidneys are fucked , dood. ( Allegedly )

Even if your on dialysis your can't lug that shit out of the cave in a hurry when the U.S. drops some busters on you.

Just give up.

You'll get a cozy cell with a proper muslim diet and we might torture, errr.. I mean interrogate you, but only if you let us.

Your Jihad is pointless anyhow.

In hell you end up with 40 Teletubbies.

And they have no cavities to enter.. BUMMER FOR YOU!!

Dear expensive pillow I bought And now I regret:

DAM YOU!

DAM YOU , YOU PEICE OF SHIT!

I thought because you where a bit pricey that you might be worth putting my bald head on, but you weren't.

Hot and flat .. ( thats what she said.)

I kept waking up in the middle of the night last night tossing and turning.

I couldn't understand why I kept waking up.

Then I realized I have a douche for a pillow and threw it at the cat.

Why the cat? I don't know.

Found my filthy drool stained pillow and slept like a scum bag.

A happy scum bag.

I guess Im cursed with the hell pillows.

Oh well, it could be worse.

I could be this guy.

I couldn't continue my life with a shitty beard.

Brett Michael just face booked me..

He said a few things to me..

He mentioned that when he died it wasn't to bad. It was like a drug induced portal opening journey. Like the ones he experienced in the 80's.

He said his bandanna was hiding his lady gaga tattoo on his forehead and was not balding.

He wanted to win the Apprentice but he didn't want to do nothin' but have a good time!

FUUUUCK YEAH!

Break on through..

Az you all know, Arizona is going through some changes.

Changes that can hurt.

Just like puberty.

You get growing pains and hair where you never once had.

Thats how Arizona feels right now.

It has hairy pains.

The illegals are the pain and the hairs.

L O L

But, thats just one mans cruel view on the topic.

And since we are on the subject of giving people the boot from America, I'd like to suggest some other groups and people we could throw the fuck out.

Lady Gaga.

Can't stand the music, even though some of you have spread the rumor that I like her.

I do not.

Her fashion statement looks like Chris Tucker from the Filth Element and some sort of space whore.. from the future.

Deport her back to her native Holland, where she will be freaky deeky with all the those kook dutch.

Courtney love.

do I even need to explain myself?

The picture says it all.

You know she killed your flannel wearing around the waist god right?

Send her back to hell before I get there so I can have a foot rest.

The cast of Friends.

I know I might catch some heat for this one..

Ok so not all of the friends are bad, just the guy friends.

They ruuuuined the show.

They were the most annoying creatures on tv in the late 90's. And they never had any group sex with Monica , Phebee or Rachel.

DOOD. FAIL@AOL.COM/LOSER

Send them all back to .. Russia.

And the office.

Yeah, the Office just sucks.

I have no good reason.

Even die hard U.K office fans will agree that the U.S. Office sucks.

They all suck to me.

SUCK

Send em' back to Britain From where they once came.

Canadiens

Hmm..

I don't like that the series is tied and they go back to Montreal.

Well, looks like they deported themselves.

If they beat the Pens' I hope they get stuck in a Canadian hospital for a month and cant make it to the next round of the finals.

(Anyone catch the Canadian health care joke?)

Since the Habs are going back , round up the illegal nucks in America and make them mounties.

They will get diabetes from all the maple syrup they drink from the trees the pass on their horses.

(Wow, that was mean..)

French.

(LOLOLOLOLOL)

You can blame them for all the air pollution, with their cigarettes , old cheese and paased out drunks with the smelly green lines comming off them.

Get em out!

ICP!

E gad...

These ass clowns are terrible.

I had know idea they were even relevant until I stumbled across this little gem.

This shit is funny.

It's like they are trying to develop some sort of awareness. To what I have know idea.

I hope you watch this because there are some epic lyrics to take to your grave.

Deport them!

I'd say hell but you know ..

Just put em in a box and that should work.

Name the boxes, Box city.

Deport me!

Send me back to Spain and Ill invent a time machine.

Ill go back in time and sleep with Stevie Nix!

Keep the top hat on Stevie.