Dear..

Dear likes to go fast guy:

Your a douche..

And more than likely a bro.

Like these ladies, except in a car.

Like this guy.

Go fast guy is a hybrid creature consisting of part macho guy , part gear head and either dressed like a MMA guy or a poser skater.

Car never completely fixed, always with multi colored panels or primered.

OH , and always dented like fuck!

Im sure mom and dad are proud to have that piece of shit in the front yard.

Dood, your 22. Get a full time job a get a real car so that the car seat fits in the back.

Dear California:

I like that your boycotting AZ, It's cute.

I'll enjoy the fact that you receive a good amount of you power from the Hover dam.

Thats in Arizona ya know.

Boycott the the dam too.

28% of SO CAL will be without power.

If that happens , all the phonies will melt .. and.. thats all I got.

Now make me a burrito.

Dear Osama Bin Laden :

Im pretty sure your going to die.

Your kidneys are fucked , dood. ( Allegedly )

Even if your on dialysis your can't lug that shit out of the cave in a hurry when the U.S. drops some busters on you.

Just give up.

You'll get a cozy cell with a proper muslim diet and we might torture, errr.. I mean interrogate you, but only if you let us.

Your Jihad is pointless anyhow.

In hell you end up with 40 Teletubbies.

And they have no cavities to enter.. BUMMER FOR YOU!!

Dear expensive pillow I bought And now I regret:

DAM YOU!

DAM YOU , YOU PEICE OF SHIT!

I thought because you where a bit pricey that you might be worth putting my bald head on, but you weren't.

Hot and flat .. ( thats what she said.)

I kept waking up in the middle of the night last night tossing and turning.

I couldn't understand why I kept waking up.

Then I realized I have a douche for a pillow and threw it at the cat.

Why the cat? I don't know.

Found my filthy drool stained pillow and slept like a scum bag.

A happy scum bag.

I guess Im cursed with the hell pillows.

Oh well, it could be worse.

I could be this guy.

I couldn't continue my life with a shitty beard.