Independence Day..

July Fourth is fast approaching!

You know what that means , right??

Will Smith is going to save us, along with his paranoid Jewish partner who was a fly in a movie a hundred years ago...

Anyway!

Ive always been a fan of the fourth.

BBQ, family and of course the chance to burn some shit.

Ive also always been some what of a fire starter.

Now that I grow older, instead of the fun and fireworks I lean more towards the day in history when our founding fathers created this great country and killed off the dinosaurs.

(He killed it right after he freed the slaves...)

So Im an American.

I love my country.

With that said I have come to realize what this day really means.

It means we said " Fuck you limey kooks, we want guns, freedom and the right to own a decent set of teeth ."

All you liberal flag burning losers should really appreciate the opportunities Gorgey and the boys bestowed upon you.

Let me tell you a little story about the first Fourth of July.

It all started in 1972.

It was me and Elton John, we were doing drugs..

I knew better than to be wasting my time with doing blow..

I Just didn't know how to kick the habit and turn my life around.

Just then Elton fell over into a comatose state and when he fell I noticed a candle burning next to a pile of ammo I saved up incase the cold war popped off.

I ran as fast as I could across the room to prevent the mayhem that would occur.

I manage to knock the ammo away from the flames and they landed next to Elton's stage make up.

The bullets must had been still really hot because they exploded and when they did they mixed up with the make up and made this really colorful explosion.

I was still very disoriented from the blast but I manage to see the bursts of colors and noticed an American flag waving outside the hotel room.

I had also realized that it was independence day.

A tear came to my eye.

I knew right then that I found my calling and purpose in life.

So I took money from Elton's lifeless body and went to the nearest alchemy shop and with a little bit of tweaking created the, "Colorful Fires ". Or which you call these days fireworks.

Went to the patten office and Copy wrote The Fourth of July.

Later that night I held a press conference and announced that from here on out that July fourth is to be celebrated with fire works and BBQ.

I displayed my new product and the people were amazed.

Later that year I became mayor of Los Angeles.

So yeah, I created Fireworks and the Fourth of July.

Pretty cool right?

Pictures? Gosh you know what I wish I had some. but you know how shitty those old print outs were , they just fade after a few years.

(Elton John was pissed. )

On a serious note, I liked to wish you all a great holiday weekend.

Enjoy the time with the family and take some time out to remember what happen in this land

in 1776. It's pretty amazing to think that our fore fathers actually had to fight for the right for us to have all the freedoms that we all have now.

And unfortunately sometimes we all take it for granted.

So lets be thankful.

Shoot off some illegal fireworks for George and the crew.

It's only a crime if you get caught!

GOD bless America!!

P.S.

FUCK any anti-American kooks.

USA USA USA!!